Hidden Wounds: How a Pastor Can Respond to Narcissistic Abuse in the Church

Abstract

This thesis explores narcissism through theological and psychological lenses in order to equip pastors and congregations to respond faithfully to narcissistic patterns within church systems, families, and individual relationships. Drawing upon contemporary psychological research, psychoanalytic theory, and confessional Lutheran theology, the study examines the developmental origins of narcissistic behavior, the spiritual dynamics that reinforce it, and the ways Christian language and authority may be distorted for control. Particular attention is given to the distinction between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder, the role of shame and defensive formation, and the misuse of law and gospel in vulnerable and grandiose church systems. The thesis also provides pastoral guidance regarding confrontation, boundary-setting, referral to mental health professionals, and spiritual care for both victims and narcissistic individuals. Ultimately, the study argues that while narcissism represents a destructive manifestation of sin, it must be addressed not with condemnation but with theological clarity, pastoral wisdom, and confidence in Christ’s redemptive grace.